When someone in your family is gambling to excess or misusing drugs or alcohol, then the effect on all family members can be significant.  An addiction can impact the whole family and each person may develop different ways of coping.  Being worried, confused or angry are all common feelings that may be expressed whereas others might avoid talking about the subject altogether.

Within families, addictions are often kept hidden in an attempt to try to protect others from what’s happening.  It is also common for people to start avoiding occasions because they are embarrassed about previous behaviour or worried about what might happen.  But this also means friends and wider family are excluded or kept at a distance, and subsequently drift away which can lead to more feelings of isolation.

Many family members, and especially parents, ask themselves if it is something they have done which has caused the drug or alcohol misuse and may feel guilty about the way they have acted in the past.

However, remember that whatever you may have done or said in the past, the person is responsible for the choices they make and for their behaviour, including drug and alcohol misuse. Only they made the choice to use drugs or alcohol – and only they can make the choice to stop.

Spouses, parents, children, siblings and friends can all suffer from the sometimes abusive behaviour and destructive consequences of their loved one's addiction. However, addicts are often totally unaware of the chaos and hurt that they are causing.

The associated stigma is one of the meanest and most difficult aspects of addiction problems because it can make it harder for the individual and family to deal with their problems and to get the help they need.  However it is important to know that help is out there, that many others are in the same situation as you and that help is available.  Just contact Carers Link on 0800 975 2131.

Children of a parent with a dependency may also be affected in many ways, especially emotionally.  If they have taken on caring responsibilities because of a parent’s addiction, there a special Young Carer groups just for them.  Some of the agencies listed within the Useful Contacts provide specific services for young people affected by addictions.

Grandparents are often an enormous source of support for families affected by an addiction and often become the primary Carers of their grandchildren, usually without adequate support.  Your physical and mental health may be affected, and feelings of depression and isolation are common.  We have more information specifically for Grandparents and remember that all Carers Link services are available to you.