It is natural to feel concerned when you see the person you care for changing and having to cope with many things in a different way.  Carers often have a fear of what the future holds because the nature of dementia may mean more changes as time passes.

• You may experience feelings of loss because the person you depended upon so much is now fully dependant on you.  You may miss many of the things that kept your relationship close.
• You may have feelings of anger because you have not been appreciated for all the effort you are putting in.
• You may have feelings of anger because friends suddenly disappear and are no longer around when you really need them.
• You may have feelings of disgust at things the person who has dementia is suddenly saying or doing that they would never have done before.
• You may have feelings of guilt for something you said or did, or didn't say or do.
• You may feel lonely. It’s easy to start feeling isolated and lonely when the growing demands of caring mean less time to spend on things that you need or want to do.
• You may be caring for someone through love or from a sense of duty.  However, you may feel that you have little choice, which can increase the strain on your relationship with the person.
• You may at times feel ashamed that your family has been affected by dementia and therefore be afraid to seek the help you need.

Not everyone can easily understand what you are going through. You may have many other underlying feelings that you don't even realise you are experiencing, but these are very real and a natural response to all that is going on in your life.  Remember that there’s no need to cope alone, and that talking things over can really help. 

If you would like to talk to someone outwith your circle of family and friends then Carers Link can provide a listening ear, and if you’d like to speak with others in a similar situation we run several local support groups, including one specifically for you if you are caring for someone with dementia.  You would be very welcome to come along for a coffee and a chat.