Someone with a mental health problem often finds it difficult to be their usual self. This can affect those around them quite profoundly and family and friends may feel out of their depth, frustrated or drained emotionally. They may end up feeling more like a Carer than a friend or partner. People often say that they feel they have lost the person they once knew. If it is a son or daughter it can often be very difficult to see them struggling, and not living the life you had hoped for them.
Caring for someone with mental health issues can be a very demanding thing to do. It easy for the Carer to be drawn into their own feelings of depression and anxiety. You may also feel:
Feelings of isolation
It may be an idea to join a support group, where you will meet people who are in a similar situation to yourself, such as the one organised by Carers Link specifically for Carers in Mental Health. Support Groups can be quite informal and fun, they can even be virtual over the Internet. Indeed there are many different support options available when you are ready.
Feelings of guilt
People often blame themselves, thinking “what did I do to make them this way?” It is common to feel guilty after getting the news that the person you care for has mental health issues. It may help you to realise that it is not your fault by talking through these feelings with Carers who are in similar position.
Feelings of frustration
When everything is getting on top of you, and the person you care for is going through a bad patch or being difficult to deal with, the future can seem bleak. If you feel like this it could be helpful to talk to someone outwith your family, who will listen without judging.
Feelings of grief
When a person you have known starts to change and act differently (especially when they are suffering from severe mental illness), the person you care for is not the same person you used to know. You may feel that the person you once knew is no longer there.
Stigma
Due to the stigma related to mental health problems, people sometimes feel ashamed that their family has been affected by mental ill health, and will try to cope on their own even when they really need some help. Remember that there is no need to struggle alone, and that sharing your feelings can really help.
The person you support is also affected by perceived stigma and will often not tell people they are suffering from mental illness, because they are embarrassed or they are frightened about how people will react or think. Stigma can lead to people trying to pretend nothing is wrong, and as a result refusing to seek treatment or becoming isolated.
Mental illness can affect relationships within families, by creating tensions and disagreements. It is not all negative however, as it can sometimes bring families closer together as they rally round in support of the person having the difficulties, and often offer to be there for each other. This can result in stronger relationships with the family growing closer and stronger.
It's important to recognise that the support you can give may have limits, but even if you are coping well with your caring role it is important to find out about what services and support options are available, so that if the person for whom you are caring does experience a crisis then you know that there is more immediate help at hand.
